Desperate text to my son

My dearest Laron. It’s 2:58 a.m. and I’m still not sleeping. I thought for sure I would sleep tonight knowing you are with Kai and you are safe, but that didn’t happen. I know right now you don’t care. You’ve been saying it now for a while, I do believe you care but you’re at this pivotal point in your life where you think you have all the answers. I don’t know how to reach you anymore and I’m truly tired.

I’m not sure where you see yourself, I’m not sure if you are proud of who you’ve become, but I hope you make it out of this phase alive and not go deeper into a dark place, most times these things don’t end well for little black boys.

I know I may not have been the best mother, I may have said some things to hurt you out of frustration too, and for that I’m sorry. However I’m never going to be your friend and allow you to do what you want, when you want. There are rules and I won’t change them just for you.

There are some things I will do differently if you do come home, like hang out with you more, you can have friends over especially now that the basement is done, listen to you more and definitely counseling needs to be a part of helping us go through some stuff.

If you choose not to come home tomorrow, I hope you stay safe until I see you again. If you choose to do the right thing, I’ll help you get through whatever it is you’re going through. We all want what is best for you.

Love Mom.